Her Name is T

I have not met T. I am not sure this is how you spell her name. What I can tell you about T is the results of her dysfunctional relationship with D.

From what I am told, it started when D and T were in highschool, about 16 years old. It was a budding sweethart relationship, that became intimate enough to result in her pregency with their first child together when D was 17. This daughter is now 6, and is attending kindnergarten somewhere outside of Cincinnati in the care of an aunt. The events surrounding the birth of this child led to Ds dropping out of school as he was about to enter the 11th grade. T and D never married. They had a second child, DD, who is now 2 1/2. He is a wonderful child, mild mannered, playful and always happy.

I first met DD a week ago Thursday. (September 13). I had been working with D to get him enrolled in the Northside Community School to begin work on his GED. And as he was attending school that day, I had arranged to pick him up to take him back to the motel where he was staying. (This is another story for a later post!)

To my surprise, D had DD with him! D had been wondering about his children in the last two or three weeks, as T had disappeared, and left the children with a sister. Appearently, the sister had arranged for the daughter to stay with the aunt, but was not able to continue to care for the son, DD, so that morning had dropped him off with D as he was heading for school. No clothes, no diapers, no belongings of any sort... just DD and what he had on!

This turn of events has its pluses and minuses. On the plus side, it gives D a reason to strive to solve his problems. On the minus side, it places a serious barrier in the road to his being able to maintain a job. Now comes all the repsonsibilty of finding suitable child care, as well as the hassles of being a single parent. And this happend just as he was getting started in school, and a new job.

The new job was the previous day's good news. D had received a call from Tere at the Express Personnel Services, a temp agency where D had been working off and on since early July. Tere was ready to give D a shot at working at Zennith Logistics. The Express Personnel arrangement with Zennith is that they hire as temp's for 90 days, and if they are successful at meeting the requirements of the job for this period, they can be chosen to become permanent employees. The conditions of emplyeement are stringent. No tardiness, no absense. Must work all Saturdays and Sundays, and must perform to a measured standard for the work. D was to start on the following Monday. While this is an entry level position, it is one could develop into a longer term career, and reasonably good pay. What an opportunity. But now, the complications of being a parent were also pressing.

Oh, and by the way, there is no regular bus service to the location of the employeement. In order to take the job I needed to commit to being his transportation. For D, I was willing to do this.

The challenge would be to do this and still meet my family commitments. Several friends that attend my church were recruited to share in this load when I was going to be unavailable. And, this last weekend we put the scheme to test! It worked, mostly.

The issue was Sunday, when my wife and I were enjoying a brunch with daughter and grandchildren in South Carolina. D called from work. He was sick, and could not finish the day. I needed to find a ride home for him. After several calls... all of my friends were in church, I called M, his mother, to see if she could pick up D and get him home. Fortunately, she agreed.

As we were driving back, and about 20 miles from home, we received another call from D. It was about 9:00 pm. I had earlier said I would bring him some medicine when we got back. D was holding me to that commitment. In this conversation, though, D wanted me to understand that he wasn't at the motel where he was staying. Rather he was at T's apartment. I discovered that his mom had taken DD and him there after she had been caring for DD. T wanted to see him. I was to pick D up for work at T's in the morning, and oh, by the way, could I take care of DD on Monday. Of all the days, I had to say no, as I had to have surgery on my back on Monday, and my wife had to visit her mother 100 miles away. DD would have to stay with T, his legal mother.

We got the medicine to D at T's later on Sunday evening. Still, I did not meet T. She was upstairs cleaning, D said.

On Monday, about 11:00 am, just as I was arriving home from the doctors' office (surgery was successful), D called and asked if I could go pick up T and DD and take her to get her check. Given my need to chill out for a bit after the surgery, I suggested I could get there at 3:00 pm. This would give me a chance to combine some other errands. I had promised M I would help her with a tank of gas, and I needed to do some shopping. This should get me to D's workplace about 5:00 pm, when he was expecting to get off from work.

I arrived at T' apartment at 3:00 pm... right on time. I went to the back door, rang the bell, no answer, then the front door, and again, rang. Then back to the back door. With the wait time, this process took about 10 minutes. I gave up, and headed for the Fresh Market for shopping. Then to M's, and on to pick up D from work. I spent some time in Kroeger getting some things I thought D might need, and then went to the employee parking area and waited. D got off at 6:00 pm! Long day. He was beat!

Next, to the bank to check out his just received debit card. It worked! Then to T' to pick up DD. Surprise, she wasn't there as she had promised. D was able to talk with T by phone, and she would be there soon... we waited. She didn't come. Then, she was on Waycross, a street near by. We went looking for her. Then additional attempts to reach her failed. She had 'evaporated'! We went back to her apartment and waited. And waited. Finally, at 7:30 we said enough. She didn't show, and D didn't get DD as promised.

I still have not met T.